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About two thirds of the way through her book Escape, Carolyn Jessop includes a key chapter which she calls “Turning Point.” Here she narrates the events which convinced her that she was a victim of domestic violence at the hands of Merril Jessop and which solidified her determination to leave her husband and the FLDS religion. 

 

In this chapter Carolyn relates her harrowing experiences with an ex-convict named Jason, whom Merril has hired to do odd jobs at the motel that Carolyn and her cousin Jeremy Bistline are managing in Caliente, Nevada. In spite of warnings by the police, by Jeremy, and by Carolyn herself that her life is in danger because Jason has been involved in murder and drug operations in Las Vegas and has raped numerous women around Caliente, all of whom are too terrified to press charges, Merril makes light of the situation and refuses to protect his wife. Carolyn even suggests that Merril reveled in the uneasiness she felt at having to associate with this disreputable character. Making complaints to Merril was “like throwing blood in the water for sharks.”

 

 

I have had personal interviews with three of Merril’s wives, Cathleen, Tammy, and Lorraine, and a telephone interview with Jeremy Bistline. All of these people told a consistent story that was quite different from what Carolyn relates.

 

According to Carolyn, a local police officer showed up at the motel the day Jason was hired and talked to Merril about him for several hours, expressing concern about Jason’s working there because of his criminal record. 

 

Jeremy claimed that an officer told him that Jason had a bit of a history, but just minor things, and that he would probably be OK if they just kept an eye on him. The officer made no mention of the rap sheet Carolyn said the police had on Jason or of his involvement with murder, drug dealing, and numerous rapes.

 

Carolyn says that shortly after Jason started work he began harassing her by following her around, watching her when she scrubbed the bathroom or moved clothes from the washer to the dryer, and by coming every ten minutes with a question or a complaint about the job he was working on. Things got so bad that Carolyn locked herself in the lobby and disconnected the bell when Jason kept ringing it incessantly. She finally had Jeremy keep a log of Jason’s behavior, recording each time he telephoned or banged on the window or the door. In three hours Jeremy logged thirty interruptions. When Merril visited the next time, Jeremy confronted him with the log and told him that Jason was out of control and that the situation was unsafe.

 

Jeremy admitted that Jason often came to the front desk with questions, but always pertaining to his work. He said that he was not aware of Jason following Carolyn around and flatly denied that he ever kept a log of Jason’s harassments or confronted Merril with this record and told him that the situation was unsafe.

 

Another character introduced by Carolyn is an old ex-Mafia hit man named James, who was hired by the former owner for security and lived in a trailer with his son Jimmy and his pet rattlesnakes. He had stories about killing people and burying them in the desert. Carolyn says that James had served twenty years for murder on a plea-bargain arrangement. In spite of his shady past, James was solicitous of Carolyn’s welfare and seemed to be the only person interested in protecting her.

 

Jeremy said that there was an old fellow who kept pet snakes, but he was not sure whether they were rattlesnakes or not. He said he knew nothing about the man’s being an ex-Mafia character.

 

Carolyn claims that when she wanted to get rid of Jason, he phoned the police and made wild accusations about Merril. This story itself is inconsistent with her other details about Jason. It is inconceivable that, if he was the desperate character she paints him as being, he would be the one to phone the police and complain that she and Merril were mistreating him. She says that when the police phoned Merril for his side of the story, he drove out to Caliente. This led to a stormy confrontation between Jason, Merril, Carolyn, James, and an officer named Dale. The officer insisted Jason leave the property and told Merril “to get Carolyn out of here tonight. He might kill her if you leave her here.” Merril refused to believe that Carolyn was in serious danger, provoking James to curse him and to threaten to kill Jason himself before he would allow him to harm Carolyn. The officer praised James’s noble feelings but said he was looking at life in prison if he did kill Jason.

 

Jeremy said that he was not aware of most of this ever happening. He said that there was a meeting between Jason and Merril where Merril told him that he was no longer needed and the police told him to stay away. He said that Jason did not return after this. 

 

Carolyn claims that even after this confrontation where the police officer told him to stay away, Jason still showed up at the motel lobby looking for her. Jeremy supposedly encountered him in the lobby and called the police, who tracked Jason down and gave him a warning. In Carolyn’s version, Jason does not stay away until James catches him on the land, holds a loaded pistol to his head, and threatens to blow his brains out.

 

According to Jeremy, none of this took place. Jason never returned to the motel, although Jeremy said that he did see him in an auto-parts store in Caliente a few weeks later.

 

Jeremy agreed with Merril’s wives Cathleen, Tammy, and Lorraine that Carolyn’s distortions of the happenings at Caliente were a desperate attempt to get Merril out to the motel to pay more attention to her. At this time he was still seriously ill following a heart attack and bypass surgery. A major staph infection had almost proved fatal and had resulted in the loss of one lung. He depended heavily on his wife Barbara to care for his health needs. According to Tammy and Cathleen, he arrived at the motel in the middle of the night and, finding all of the doors unlocked, concluded that the situation was not as serious as Carolyn was claiming, and took a room with Barbara. Considering Merril’s health problems, his action was understandable, but it was hardly the course best calculated to soothe Carolyn’s feelings of being neglected.

 

Tammy said that it was true that Merril had hired Jason but that Carolyn “was the one being friendly with him. She just had him do odds and ends around the place…. He told her he was an ex-con. Before that she was happy to have him there. That’s when she started making up all that stuff. She just wanted to get Merril out there to pay attention to her. She made up this big story of how this guy was on the roof with a gun.”

 

“She was just mad because he wouldn’t come out there and baby her through what she was going through,” Cathleen said. “When he didn’t, her stories got more bizarre.”

 

Jeremy claimed that he had never observed Merril exhibiting any abusive behavior toward Carolyn but that she told him a couple of times that she felt that she was being left out and that Barbara was running the show and making all of the decisions. He said that Carolyn told him that “Merril was a sweet man and did not have an immoral bone in his body.”

 

Tammy: “When she makes so many accusations of him being uncaring, it’s because he was so sick. He had high blood pressure, heart attack…”

 

Cathleen: “He had worked so intensely hard.”

 

Tammy: “He had given all he had in his very weakened condition.”

 

This is a far cry from the way Carolyn describes Merril in her book. On page 256 she relates a conversation she claims she had with the ex-Mafia character James:

 

“James wasn’t finished. ‘I know the kind of man your husband is. I have seen his like before. You’re going to end up dead if you don’t wake up and get away from him.’

 

“I didn’t know how to respond.

 

“’Men like him start out with abuse but they will eventually kill their victims.’

 

“I thought of how Merril used to beat and brutalize Faunita. I knew Merril was scared of my father, but that certainly didn’t preclude him setting me up to be hurt by someone else. James had gotten rid of Jason, but how much longer would it be until Merril found some other criminal to work in the motel?”

 

Elsewhere in her book Carolyn refers to Merril locking Faunita in an upstairs room and beating her with a mop and later throwing Cathleen to the floor when she refused to accompany him to his office after she had stood up to Barbara. Merril’s other wives denied that any of this ever happened or that he was abusive at all, either to his wives or to his children. They described him as being the most gentle and caring of husbands and fathers.

 

Carolyn portrays Merril as having no interest in his children and being especially callous in his treatment of her handicapped son Harrison, flying into a rage when she wanted to take the child to a holistic doctor in Las Vegas, and accusing her of having a handicapped child as a punishment for her rebellion.

 

Merril’s wives gave instead a picture of a loving father, doing all he could to bless his family:

 

Tammy: “He went everywhere with her, did everything [for Harrison]…. He was so tender with him. He even took him up to get a blessing from Uncle Rulon [FLDS Prophet at the time]. Uncle Rulon in his very weakened condition took that baby in his arms and blessed it to perfect health—he will regain every function….

 

“If there is one man in the whole wide world that is interested in his children, it’s him. I’ve never seen a father like him, ever. He watches it even though you don’t think he is. You’ll bring things to his attention and he’ll [already] know. His children are phenomenal.”

 

Lorraine: “He was always telling the boys—at least once a week—to give their mothers a hug.”

 

Cathleen: “Every night after prayer they [the little children] were giving Father a hug.”

 

Tammy: “If a big boy didn’t want a hug, he would shake their hand. He was very respectful to what they wanted.”

 

Cathleen: “He would shake all the girls’ hands and kiss their hands goodnight. Like if he didn’t hug them goodnight—like he didn’t have the physical energy to hug them goodnight—then they would come by and shake hands with him. He would kiss the back of all the girls’ hands.”

 

Consider the above in the light of Carolyn’s statement on page 358—that it was forbidden in Merril’s family to hug or kiss the children. Carolyn herself contradicts this statement on page 229. She says that when Merril returned from the hospital after his heart attack, he reached out for Betty and that she hugged the rest of her children.

 

There are similar contradictions throughout the book, but I realize that this article is already lengthy. I will mention just a few more points regarding Merril’s family because Carolyn implies that the conditions existing there are typical of the entire FLDS culture. 

 

She describes a society of unbelievable repression where women had no freedom to come and go or to express themselves. Women could drive but were given cars either with no license plates or with expired plates so that if they tried to leave without their husbands’ permission they would be picked up by the police. Comments from Merril’s wives are illuminating in regard to this:

 

Tammy: “Carolyn was probably the most well treated of his ladies. He would tend her and bless her and give her everything—every expression. There was nothing that was withheld from her, except towards the end—he had to withhold himself from her because he had priesthood duties. And that’s when it kind of collapsed….

 

“She always had a car. When she went to college, she had a brand-new car…. She was one person who always had a vehicle. She wouldn’t put up with not having one.”

 

Lorraine: “Merril was very kind and open. He let us do about anything we asked to do.”

 

Tammy: “He allowed her every freedom… anything she wanted. He got grow boxes. She had him spend thousands of dollars on the special containers, mulch buckets…”

 

Lorraine: “She was going to go all organic. Thousands of dollars on organic seed.”

 

Tammy: “She cost that guy thousands and thousands of dollars a year. And he just was so kind and just kept going…. 

 

“If you had a plan, he did everything to help you with that plan. They were so perfect together—her and Father Merril. She loved him; she loved him.”

 

Lorraine: “What she really wanted is for him to go with her.”

 

Tammy: “Yah, she wanted him to go with her and escape with her so that they could just be together. That is basically the whole crux of it. But, alas, he had all these other people.”

 

A whole article could be written analyzing the complex motives that led Carolyn to abandon her husband and her religious faith. Suffice it to say that once she had made this decision, her need for self-justification led her to vilify both. Carolyn is a well-educated, talented woman, who both in her appearances on talk shows as well as in her writing is much more believable than an activist such as Flora Jessop, whose obvious exaggerations and distortions have destroyed her credibility. The truth is, however, that the picture Carolyn gives of FLDS culture has little more factual basis than that given by Flora.

 

(See “You Can’t ‘Escape’ the Truth” and “The Unreliability of Apostate Narratives.”)